Question: “I need help. I like someone but I'm scared to tell them. I feel like they're gonna bully me because what if I do and he says no? Then what should I do? I'm a bit scared and I just don't like the feeling of being rejected. If I tell him how should I do it? I can't wait for your advice!”
Dear Letter Writer,
I totally understand what you’re going through. I’ve been through this situation before, and I waited until I didn’t like him anymore to tell him, because I was scared of being rejected. And let me tell you, it feels great just to get it over with.
My first suggestion is to write a thoughtfully planned letter, and (if you have a phone) send that letter in a text, once you feel ready. It’s important that in this letter you are kind to your crush, you don’t make them feel uncomfortable, and that you don’t doubt yourself or seem scared, insecure, or anxious. You should also provide the option of just being friends in that letter (if you do this then you still have a fall back plan), and you just need to prepare for the worst once you send it. I understand that it’s hard to build up the courage to tell someone you like them ESPECIALLY if you really, really, have a crush on them. But just know that the truth will come out at some point, and it’s much better to have it planned than to have your crush find out accidentally (it’s awful, trust me).
Another suggestion I have is if you don’t know your crush that well, get to know them! Doing this will help you decide whether or not it’s really worth it to confess to them, based on their personality, and I also find that it’s easier to tell someone you like them if you are already friends. An example of this can be asking your crush simple questions like “Who’s your favorite musician?” or “What colors do you like?” A sign of being a reliable crush is not feeling uncomfortable around them and being able to have deeper conversations with them without it feeling weird. There are a lot of ways to test compatibility, but honestly, if he’s nice to you then I doubt he will bully you after you tell him.
My final piece of advice comes from my friend who has a lot of experience with crushes and who’s name will be anonymous for private reasons. She says, “It’s important to look at certain signs so that you can match your crush’s energy, this makes it less awkward when you talk to him, and you can tell if he might like you back. Another good thing to do is to ask his friends if he’s single, and if he is, try to talk to him more! And if he sends back the same signals you send him, you should tell him you like him!” This is really good advice to start building up confidence! Confidence is really important in telling someone you like them, and if he doesn’t like you back, his loss. Some of these signs my friend mentioned can be how he acts towards you. Is he nicer to you? Another one is if he talks to you more. If he seems like a mean person and you are really scared of being bullied by him, then he’s just not worth the exhaustion. You should know your worth in this situation.
So basically, my main suggestions are to be confident, don’t push boundaries, be friendly (but not too friendly), and be prepared for anything. Good luck!